Self Care for Men: The Ultimate Guide 2024
Learn about self-care for men, including activity ideas and more. Too often, self-care is dismissed as mere 'pampering,' when in reality, it's about taking care of ourselves in meaningful ways. And if it’s not being trivialized as face masks and pedicures, it’s often depicted as something out of reach—think silent retreats, ayahuasca ceremonies, or singing around a campfire. It's no wonder self-care for men gets a bad rap. But it's time to clear up some misconceptions. What Is Self-Care, Really? Self-care is any action you take to improve your physical and mental well-being. This can be as simple as stocking your fridge with nutritious food, taking a long, hot shower, talking to a therapist, or organizing your thoughts. It's not indulgent or weak. It's essential. Why Is Self-Care Important? Regardless of what we've been led to believe, self-care is crucial for everyone. Every person deserves to live a healthy, happy life, and self-care isn't limited by gender. The idea that self-care is only for women is a marketing construct, nothing more. We all know this deep down. If it were easy to break this stereotype, we’d already be doing it. Why Do Men Often Avoid Self-Care? Even though everyone needs and deserves self-care, many men still shy away from it. But why? Sadly, there's a lingering belief that taking care of yourself is unmanly or effeminate. Fortunately, this stereotype is starting to be challenged. In the mid-1990s, Tony Porter, founder of A Call to Men, introduced the concept of the 'man box,' where masculinity is viewed as a performance. If you don’t fit in, you’re not a "real" man, and there’s a social cost to pay. Boys are taught from a young age to stay within this box, and as they grow older, they continue to feel pressured to prove their manhood. Though there have been efforts to shift these outdated views, gender norms still heavily influence how boys and girls are socialized. Terms like 'modern man' or 'metrosexual' are sometimes used to mock men who take care of themselves. The pressure to "man up" and "stay tough" can lead men to hide their feelings. This is why men visit the doctor half as often as women, which wouldn’t be as concerning if they weren’t at a higher risk—but they are. Why Men Need Self-Care More Than Ever Research shows that men face a higher risk of disease, injury, and early death compared to women. Consider these points: In the U.S., women live on average five years longer than men, and globally, the gap is about seven years (Harvard Health). In the UK, the male suicide rate was 15.8 per 100,000 in 2021, compared to 5.5 per 100,000 for females (Samaritans). Men in the U.S. have been dying at twice the rate of women from COVID-19 (Harvard Gazette). 11.9% of UK men reported drug use in 2019-2020, compared to 6.9% of women (ONS). 30% of UK men drink more than 14 units of alcohol per week, compared to 15% of women (Drinkaware). The problem is, even when men are struggling, many don't seek help. Only 36% of referrals to NHS talking therapies are men. Additionally, nearly three-quarters of adults who go missing are men, and 87% of the UK's rough sleepers are male (Mental Health Foundation). But it’s not that men don’t care. Think about it—we maintain our cars, press our shirts, and take care of the objects in our lives. So why don’t we put the same effort into caring for ourselves? Sounds straightforward, right? It is, in theory. You might already be practicing self-care without even realizing it—by sticking to an exercise routine, making your bed each morning, or taking a walk during lunch. Or maybe you unwind by writing in a journal instead of endlessly scrolling through social media. Of course, everyone’s different, and that’s where it gets tricky. There's no universal 'starter kit' for self-care. What works for one person might not work for another, and that's okay. What Does Self-Care Mean for You? Self care is about carving out time for yourself. How you spend that time is entirely up to you. We’ll dive into some ideas shortly, but keep in mind—there's no definitive list of self-care activities for men. If it enhances your physical or mental well-being, it counts. The Six Types of Self-Care Many men think self-care is limited to physical exercise, like hitting the gym. But a well-rounded self-care routine covers your body, mind, and spirit. Even if you love lifting weights, giving your brain a workout or engaging your emotions is equally beneficial. Self-care generally falls into six categories: physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, professional, and social. It’s common to focus on one area more than the others, but this can lead to an unbalanced life. 1. Physical Self-Care Your mind and body are more connected than you might think. Taking care of your physical health through a balanced diet and regular exercise can boost your confidence, reduce stress, and help you sleep better. Where to start? Try staying hydrated and aiming for eight hours of sleep each night. Even a walk during your lunch break can give you a physical boost. 2. Emotional Self-Care We all experience emotions like anger, fear, or sadness. But investing in emotional self-care helps you process these feelings in a healthy way. How can you do this? Talking to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings is one way to practice emotional self-care. If that feels too vulnerable, consider journaling instead. Hobbies like art or music can also help you manage your emotional well-being. 3. Spiritual Self-Care Spiritual self-care is about calming your mind and nurturing your spirit. It doesn’t have to be religious, although it can be for some. What might this look like? It could be as simple as walking in nature, turning off the lights and listening to music, or meditating. For others, it might involve going to a place of worship, practicing yoga, or getting a deep tissue massage. 4. Financial Self-Care Financial self-care involves developing habits that help you achieve your financial goals, whether that’s saving for a big purchase, sticking to a budget, or managing debt. How to get started? Regularly check your account balances, track your income and expenses, and set financial goals to work toward. 5. Professional Self-Care Self-care isn’t just something you do outside of work. With remote working blurring the lines between home and office, professional self-care is more important than ever. Incorporating self-care habits into your workday can help you feel more balanced and even boost productivity. What does this look like? Start by committing to not checking your work emails on weekends or after hours. Use your vacation days instead of letting them roll over. 6. Social Self-Care Social self-care involves activities that strengthen your relationships with others. Positive social connections don’t just build relationships; they also help maintain your sense of identity. What can you do? Meeting up with friends, scheduling a date, or calling a family member are all ways to engage in social self-care. If all of this sounds like a lot, don’t worry—many activities will overlap. For example, running with a friend in the morning isn’t just good for your physical health; it also boosts your psychological well-being. Those endorphins can help clear your mind of anxiety and give you the focus you need for the day. Finding the Right Balance of Self-Care Men who practice self-care—whether by keeping up with friends, reading, or meditating—are 2.2 times more likely to feel balanced in life. The same research shows they’re also 1.6 times more satisfied with themselves and 1.4 times more satisfied with their relationships. Think back to the last time you felt great. What were you doing? Was it biking with friends, hitting the gym, or simply putting away your laptop for the weekend? Consider what you need to do to make this a regular habit. Better yet, write it down to reinforce the steps you need to take. What Are the Benefits of Self-Care? Most of us juggle a thousand things at once—some big and some small, often without even realizing it. From excelling at work and maintaining a social life to staying hydrated and paying the bills on time, the demands are endless. Without some self-care, it’s hard to manage it all without stress. Self-care might not solve all your problems, but it can give you the energy to tackle them. Research has shown numerous health benefits of self-care, including: Enhanced self-confidence (64%) Increased productivity (67%) Greater happiness (71%) On a physical level, self-care can reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer. While it’s not an instant cure for complex issues like depression or PTSD, developing self-care strategies can significantly improve your overall well-being. Ultimately, putting a self-care plan in place can help you feel more in control of your life, so daily challenges don’t seem as overwhelming. So, what steps can you take today?